What 53 Egg Donors Said They Wish They Knew…
What do egg donors wish they knew BEFORE donating their eggs?
A research team in Canada explored this very question. To tell us more, here’s Dr. Alana Cattapan (Associate Professor and Canada Research Chair, University of Waterloo) in collaboration with Samantha Beneteau and Anya Johnson Poon (Research Assistants, University of Waterloo).
Learn more about this research at ovaobscura.com.
Since 2022, our research team has been working with egg donors to find out more about their experiences. Until recently, there has been very little research centring the voices and experiences of egg donors—and even less focused on the Canadian context.
We interviewed 53 egg donors who donated in Canadian clinics since 2004, and while most had positive experiences overall, many ran into problems they wish they'd been warned about. We asked them explicitly what advice they’d give to people considering egg donation.
Here's what they wish you knew.
1. People Giving You Information Have Something to Sell
What donors experienced: Participants in our study stressed that most of the sources of information—agencies and clinics—aren’t neutral. Most information comes from sources that have a vested interest in convincing people to be donors. One donor put it bluntly: "You are a part of the products they're selling."
Why it matters: In order to make an informed decision about donating, you need access to information that presents a clear picture about what you’re getting into. That information should come from multiple sources, including ones that do not stand to profit if you say yes.
What you can do: Seek out information from sources with no financial stake in whether or not you become an egg donor. Talk to other donors. Read donor experiences on We Are Egg Donors, which is a non-directive support community for egg donors. Do your own research—and consider the sources of that research—before making any commitments.
2. Make Sure Your Legal Agreement Reflects Your Interests
What donors experienced: Many donors felt pressured to sign contracts quickly without negotiating. They didn't realize they could push back, ask for changes, or take time to really understand what they were agreeing to. Participants in our study reported that they didn’t always feel empowered to make changes to their contract, and that they sometimes felt pressure to simply sign the contract sent to them.
Why it matters: The legal agreement that donors sign is important, because it outlines the terms of the donation (among many other things!), what you are allowed to do during the process, how you will be cared for, what happens if something goes wrong, and any future contact with the family and any children that result from the donation.
What you can do: You are allowed to negotiate. Read every word. Ask your lawyer—not one recommended by the agency or clinic, and not the same lawyer as the intended parents—to review the agreement in detail. If something doesn't work for you, say so. Ask for changes. And take your time. You should be in control of your donation.
3. Beware of Clinics that Treat Donors like a Means to an End
What donors experienced: Some donors told us about good experiences in the clinic, but many described feeling like they were a means to an end. People told us about feeling like wellbeing often felt secondary to getting eggs for the intended parents. As one donor said: “I realized very quickly that there was no respectful treatment of egg donors. I was a chicken and I was disillusioned pretty quickly about how I was going to be treated in that environment.”
Why it matters: You are undergoing a serious medical procedure with real risks. You deserve to be treated with the same care, respect, and attention as any other patient.
What you can do: No clinic should make you feel like a product rather than a person. You can stop your treatment. You can go to a different clinic. You can walk away.
4. You Can Stop Treatment At Any Time
What donors experienced: We asked donors if they felt like they could stop treatment once they started, and many said “no”, citing clauses in their legal agreements. These clauses stated that if they stopped their treatment—unless told to do so by their doctor—they would be responsible for the costs of their donation.
Why it matters: Egg donation is a medical procedure, and donors are entitled to stop their treatment at any time (prior to retrieval) for any reason. Clauses that push donors into continuing even if they are having second thoughts are coercive and undermine the principle of free and informed consent.
What you can do: The costs of treatment should not fall to donors, even when legal agreements say otherwise. Before signing any agreements, protect yourself by pushing back against any clauses that may pressure you into continuing with a donation if you want to stop.
5. You Are Entitled to Clear, Accurate Information About Your Treatment
What donors experienced: Donors in our study described having to advocate for themselves with their clinic and having to push to get clear information about the medications they'd take, potential side effects, what the procedures would feel like, or how the timeline would actually work.
Why it matters: You need to understand what's happening to your body. You need access to medical professionals who will explain your treatment, answer your questions, and address your concerns.
What you can do: Be persistent. Keep asking. Keep advocating for yourself. As one donor said, “be prepared for monumental amounts of bullshit…and to demand appointments, demand conversations, demand communication." Ask specific questions: What medications will I take? What are the side effects? What will the retrieval feel like? How long is recovery? What are the risks? Don't accept vague answers. Push for details.
6. Egg Donation Does Not End at Retrieval
What donors experienced: Some donors weren't prepared for cycles that didn't work out—no eggs retrieved, no pregnancy, no baby. Others didn't think through what it would mean long-term to have a genetic child in the world, especially with anonymous donations.
Why it matters: The emotional reality of egg donation doesn't end at retrieval. You might think about this decision for years or decades. You might wonder about a child who exists because of you. Or you might grieve a cycle that didn't result in a pregnancy.
What you can do: Think beyond the immediate cycle. Do you want updates? Do you want to know if a child is born? How will this affect your future children? What kind of relationship, if any, do you want with any donor-conceived children? Many donors said they wished they'd chosen known donations from the start because they wanted that connection and those updates.
7. Egg Donors Felt More Savvy After Their First Donation
What donors experienced: About half the donors we interviewed donated multiple times, and by their second or third cycle, they knew how to negotiate better contracts, demand better treatment, and advocate for themselves. But they wish they'd known all of this the first time.
Why it matters: You shouldn't have to learn through trial and error with your own body. First-time donors deserve the same knowledge and power that experienced donors have.
What you can do: Learn from donors who've been through it. That's why communities like We Are Egg Donors exist—so you don't have to figure everything out the hard way. Good care benefits everyone, including the intended parents.
Speaking up about your needs doesn't make you selfish—it makes you smart.
The Real Problem: A System That Doesn't Center You
After fifteen years studying this field, it is still shocking to me how often egg donors are treated as peripheral to a process that cannot happen without them.
The donors we talked to viewed donation as part of their own reproductive story—a way to build family with others, to share their capacity, to balance not wanting to parent with wanting genetic children in the world. This was deeply personal to them. One donor described her experience as “profoundly beautiful” and many of the donors we spoke to felt the same way.
But too often, clinics, agencies, and even intended parents treat donors as interchangeable parts in someone else's family-building journey.
Most of the 53 donors we interviewed had positive experiences overall. But the advice they provided for future donors tells us that their experiences would have been better if they had been:
Actually informed by unbiased sources before starting
Well-supported by professionals who saw them as patients, not products
Empowered to challenge what wasn't working without feeling guilty or difficult
You deserve all three and more. If you're not getting them, something is wrong—not with you, but with how you're being treated.
Don't settle. Speak up. And know that thousands of other donors are standing behind you, wishing someone had told them this too.
Egg donors can join the We Are Egg Donors community on Facebook here. It’s a free, non-directive space where you can connect with thousands of egg donors across the globe.